Do you ever get that feeling?
That you hate your life?
Or is it just me?
Because right now that’s EXACTLY how I feel.
And no, don’t worry I’m not going to give you a sob story about my woes and precisely what it is I hate about my life!
Instead I’m going to share some insights on how I view both my thoughts and emotions.
The normal course of action in the personal development world when we’re feeling down or grumpy is to change our state.
To look at all the positives in our life.
All the things we are grateful for.
It’s often recommended we take some action to help us feel “better”.
- Go out in nature and appreciate its beauty.
- Take some deep breaths.
- Have a bath.
- Go for coffee with a friend.
In fact – anything that will transform our “negative” feelings.
And indeed, when I got angry over something this morning – that is exactly what I did.
I went for a long walk which always lifts my spirits.
But today the instant I walked back into everyday life I got triggered again.
And whilst the anger had diminished – I was still Miss Grumpy!
But “being grumpy” is not actually “bad”.
You see we’re human (just thought I’d point that out in case you hadn’t realised it yet 🙂
We have emotions.
Feelings are a HUGE part of our lives.
In fact, I’m pretty certain they drive everything we do.
But generally in life we have a tendency to separate our feelings into 2 camps:
- “positive emotions”
- “negative emotions”
We believe “positive emotions” are “good” and “negative emotions” are “bad”.
We strive to experience “positive emotions” – to be happy, to be joyful, to feel successful….
And at the same time we try to diminish the negative feelings.
Yet no matter how much we try – those pesky negative emotions keep coming back (grrr)!
A month ago I felt the same as I do today –“Argh! I hate my life!”
Except back then I was ashamed of the thought and the grumpiness that accompanied it.
I didn’t dare share it – because here I was teaching people how to experience exquisite joy each and every day.
You’re not allowed to “hate your life” and at the same time teach people how to love life with a passion and be delighted daily.
Experiencing one thing yet teaching something different is totally inauthentic.
The thought “Melina you’re a fraud!” sprang to mind.
It’s probably why I’ve been quiet over the past few weeks – because surely when you feel great “bad” things don’t happen.
When you live an amazing life all grumpiness disappears. Doesn’t it?
That’s a complete fabrication – and it is that very fabrication that stops us from experiencing the deep joy so many of us crave.
The reason I actually do experience exquisite joy each and every day (and am able to teach this with integrity) – even when I’m grumpy – is because I honour (and delight in) ALL my emotions.
You see trying to be happy clappy all the time can only ever lead to disappointment:
(a) Because it’s not possible
(b) Because we don’t really want that
Life is rich and vibrant because we experience emotions – and a wide range of emotions to boot – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.
Each and every emotion has its place.
When we allow ourselves to feel our emotions without judgement, without labelling them as “positive” or “negative”, without trying to squish half of them away – they are able to flow through us.
When we make an emotion wrong by saying “no, we mustn’t feel this way” and try to flip it or stop it – it is unable to flow through us.
By constantly striving to have only “positive” thoughts and emotions we put ourselves under massive stress.
Our mind becomes a battleground.
You see, that thought “I hate my life” is not the truth – not even remotely.
It’s the reaction of my inner sulky teenager rebelling against a situation I don’t like.
The truth is I love my life.
I love everything about it – even the challenging circumstances I currently face.
I even love the grumpy feeling.
Although, I might recommend my family avoid me for a while!
But guess what? It appears that through writing this post all grumpiness has gone!
How cool is that!