Ever feel like a square peg in a round hole?SquarePeginaRoundHole

I recently attended an event and for much of it I felt like a square peg in a round hole.

Everyone else was loving it – having amazing aha’s and insights, feeling so inspired and really excited about the future.

I sat at the back feeling like I didn’t belong.

Noticing that I didn’t think like everyone else.

Recognising that I no longer agreed with some of the messages that were being shared – messages that just a few years ago I not only believed to be true but I actually taught my clients.

For example:

“If you’re not growing you’re dying”

I sat back and asked myself is that really true?

I knew that in the past I believed it – but was it true?

And as I felt into it, I could see that yes, there is an element of truth (and it certainly works to get your butt in gear), but if you really look at it – it’s not actually true.

Let’s take bulbs – the growing kind, not the lighting kind.

Right now I have tulips, daffodils and snow-drops in my garden.

You can’t see them.

You wouldn’t know they were there.

At the moment all you can see are colourful summer bedding plants (and a few perennials).

The bulbs are not growing.

But they’re certainly not dying.

They are simply dormant – happily sitting in the ground waiting for spring to burst forth and shine.

When they do they are magnificent – they flower with such beauty and grace that make my heart sing.

Then the flowers die down and there are several weeks where the foliage looks a little ugly (but you mustn’t cut the leaves because as they die down they provide valuable nutrients to the bulb).

And the bulbs spread giving a bigger and brighter display the following year.

Are we any different?

Are we either growing or dying?

Or are there not times in our lives (and our businesses) where we are dormant – neither growing nor dying but simply dormant, gathering energy for the next phase of growth?

Ever since I was a little girl I would question everything. I got nick-named Melina Why (my maiden name was Fry).

But over the years I had forgotten to question – to go within and ask myself “is that really true”?

I’d gotten a little cynical (which I hated about myself). Cynicism and “anything is possible” do not go hand in hand!

And during the event I came to see how I’d squished myself into a box – trying to please others, trying to conform, trying to find something unique to share.

But the truth is I don’t need to.

I don’t need to do anything unique – because I am unique.

It is not what we do, it is who we are that makes a difference.

During that event I went on a journey.sunflower

I came to see that part of me was a gardener (albeit a business gardener)

I plant seeds – ideas, inspiration, questions or simply the seed of permission.

And some of those seeds are ready to burst open. They very quickly grow into magnificent flowers, tall and strong, shining brightly. They are the sunflowers of the business world.  sweet pea


Other seeds need more nurturing, more tending and supporting along the way. They are the sweet peas of the business world.


And others may take many years to germinate and need lots of care and support –but clematisonce growing, they’re off, flowering over and over.  They are the clematis of the business world.


And of course there are many, many different varieties of sunflower, sweet pea and clematis.

You see we are all different – each and every one of us is unique.

What is right for one person may not be right for you – and that includes your business.

Clematis doesn’t compare itself with a Sunflower – it doesn’t think the sunflower is better than them.

How absurd!

Actually it’s no more absurd than us comparing ourselves with someone we think has done better than us, has grown faster, has achieved things we haven’t.

Their journey is their journey.

Your journey is your journey.

My journey is my journey.

And whether it feels like it or not, our journey is magnificent – because we are.

We don’t have to squish ourselves into boxes.