Comparison – oh comparison.

The thief of joy.

The thing that can stop us in our tracks and have us questions our whole existence.

I’ve noticed myself fall prey to its grip a few times these past weeks.

It’s a familiar feeling, flip-flopping between “I’ve got this!  This is going to be so much fun” to “see, she’s so much further ahead than me, why on earth haven’t I got my act together by now?  What am I playing at?”

It’s like there’s this raging battle swirling around me buffering me from one side to another.

A part of me expects it – the part that’s so familiar with it that it feels like it will always be there.  And a part of me is surprised it’s still there, that I’ve done so much transformation it SHOULD BE GONE by now.

Comparisonitus be gone!  It’s old.  It’s boring.  I should be able to go on social media and see what others are up to and celebrate for them.

Instead, I fall into the Pit of Pity, feeling sorry for myself, asking “why not me?”.

Yesterday as I started writing this email, I got swept away by all those destructive feelings.

Fear reared its ugly head.  The thought of sharing what I’d written for the world to see – my family, my friends, clients, potential clients filled me with dread.

I felt this wave of anxiety rising from my solar plexus right up through my heart.

Fingers pausing, writing a sentence, deleting it.

Another sentence, another deletion.

Feelings so powerful I am feeling them again, 24 hours later as I edit these words.

How easy it is to fall down that pit.

I wanted to share my struggle as I know so many of you feel it too.  To reassure you that you are not alone.

And yet the place I was coming from was disempowered, drowning in the trenches, unable to lift myself out, let alone guide anyone else out.

I had lost sight of the energy of Sacred Selling.

In the past I would have stayed there, struggling, determined to finish the “sodding email”.  It would have taken all day.  I would write, edit, write, edit until I deemed it “good enough”.

Then sent it out with the energy of “thank goodness, I did it”.

Energy that you would have felt.

The energy of struggle – the very thing I support my clients in moving beyond.

Yesterday I made a different choice.

I stopped.

I let go of the struggle.

Instead, I chose connection.  Connection with soul sisters who have my back.

I stepped outside of the pattern.

I did something else and later, when I got some distance I reflected on the pattern, I journaled on it, I spoke to my coach.

And returned to it with fresh eyes today.

You see, there is no line in the sand where on one side our patterns play out keeping us stuck in frustration and lack, and on the other we have freedom, abundance and the absence of patterns.

Rather we are gifted with opportunities to free ourselves that bit more every day.

To notice them in the moment and choose out of them.  To turn towards something that will bring us back to our highest self.

For me yesterday it was connection.

Through connection I recalibrated to my wise self.

My powerful self.

In that place I am in the energy of Sacred Selling and my words flow effortlessly.

What is it that something for you?  How do you reconnect with your wise self.

Take a moment now and write down 3 ways you reconnect with your highest.  Keep it to hand so when you notice yourself falling into a pit you can recalibrate to the wise, divine part of you.

Think of it as your pocket rope-ladder.

And if you do find yourself lost down there unable to climb out, pour on compassion.  Compassion for the part of you who needs to heal.

Please don’t beat yourself up or get cross with yourself.  That’s punishing energy which strengthens the pattern.

Instead call on compassion and love.

Compassion and love dissolve will dissolve it.

Here’s to more compassion and more love in the world.

Much love,

Melina

PS:  As I was writing this email I was reminded of the poem Autobiography in Five Short Chapters, by Portia Nelson:

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit… but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.