On July 1st I made a big bold announcement – when will I learn to not do that!

I said I was going to do Sarah Arrow’s 30 day blogging challenge once again because I needed to hone my writing muscle and I believed this was the best way to do it.

I started strong on Day 1.

Day 2 – rocking it!

Then……..

Nothing!

No blog post.

Instead – silence.

Until today – day 10.

A few years ago I would have beaten myself up something chronic for committing to something publicly – and then not following through.  But this time that didn’t happen – instead I learnt a lot and I thought I’d share these insights with you in case they were helpful.

I discovered four key learnings:

1. The negative voices didn’t appear

The brutal ones that would normally shout at me inside my head “what are you doing?” “What will people think?”  “Melina you’re useless, you told everyone you’d blog for 30 days and you’ve managed two!” “How can you teach the importance of consistency when you’re demonstrating a complete lack of it?”

They didn’t appear for two reasons – one because I’ve done a huge amount of inner work around this – so my mind is now very quiet.  Secondly the blogging challenge was something I’d imposed on myself because I thought I “should”.  I thought it would take a challenge such as this to get me writing consistently again.  Instead what it showed me was how connected commitment, consistency and alignment are.

You see I’ve been a people pleaser most of my life.  With an “I’m rubbish” story running alongside it.  And the way this played out would be I’d make commitments, not follow through and beat myself up.

It happened over and over – I even wrote about it:

How our commitments can exacerbate a “not good enough” story

The first time I didn’t follow through on a commitment I felt physically sick.  It was a BNI networking meeting and whilst I could have gone – ie I wasn’t doing anything else at the time, I couldn’t have gone and done everything else I needed to do that day.  When I phoned to say I wasn’t going to be able to make it, believing I’d be told off, that I was letting people down, that they would frown at me – my experience couldn’t have been more different.   It was totally fine – they understood completely and someone agreed to stand in for me so I wouldn’t be marked as absent.

It was my first experience of putting myself and my needs first instead of doing something simply out of obligation- then having really positive feedback as a result.  Since then it’s a muscle I’ve been consistently strengthening.   Not having any voices telling me I’m rubbish after making a commitment and not following through is actually huge.

2.  I’ve gained clarity on how often I really want to blog

It’s once or twice a week.  Once as a regular post and then an optional one as and when I’m inspired.  I know I thrive when I have some degree of routine- so committing to a regular weekly post will really serve me, as well as create the consistency and stability I need in my business.  Allowing space to write additional posts as and when I’m inspired gives me the flexibility and freedom I crave.

3.  I’ve gained clarity on the nature of my blogs.

For ages I’ve agonised over whether to “teach” in my blogs or to share my own journey and my own process.  For many years my blog posts were pure teaching – all around marketing and sales.  Then, as my business evolved and I moved into spiritual coaching my blogs became more personal – I shared about how I felt, my insights and the journey I was on.  For a while now I’ve been agonising over which style to write in – my marketing head told me I “should” teach but my heart longed to share my insights and experiences.  In truth I love writing both types of blog. Through this second “failed” blogging experience I’ve realised that both styles are not only relevant they’re essential for the integral business I’m creating (more on this to come).

4. Honouring our natural way of being is essential.

For a long time I’ve recognised that I gain clarity by taking action – that trying to have it all figured out and planned in detail before I start is a recipe for disaster for me.  Instead my process is to move quickly from idea, take action, learn, course correct, take the next step.  It can be irritating for others – for example when it comes to home décor I need to move all the furniture about and try it in different configurations before I know if it works.  In business, from the outside it can look like I’m flaky and “all over the place”.  However in truth I’m moving forward each and every day and my business is being built with a firm solid foundation.  It’s not everyone’s way – some people need to have everything mapped out before they begin – and that’s great for them.

Whatever we do in business needs to honour our natural way of being and align with how we work

When we don’t it causes struggle and stress and means we can be blown off course whenever anyone suggests our way is “wrong”.  In truth there are no “right” and “wrong” ways of marketing – just different ways, some work best for some and not others and vice versa.

So I will proudly share my journey with you – my decision making process, the nitty gritty “behind the scenes” stories and the unpolished ideas – with the deep knowing that who I am is as important as what I teach.

Alongside teachings to help you grow your transformation business.

I’ll be blogging weekly.

And that really is the beauty of running our own business – we get to choose how we want them to operate – always.