I was about to say 2021 was a strange year, until I asked myself – was it? Was it really? Did I personally find it strange or was I simply stating what I believed to be an “appropriate” thing to say?
I remember noticing this in the past when I was about to write “wish I was there” for an event that many of my friends were attending. However, when I dug deeper, the truth was I was attending another event – that I was very excited about, and I didn’t really “wish I was there” – I simply felt it was the “right” thing to say – a platitude.
For many years I’ve been paying close attention to the words I share, and what I hear from others, and questioning whether something’s really true. Like the expression “if you’re not growing, you’re dying”.
So when I was about to write “2021 was a strange year”, I realised that that wasn’t my personal experience.
2021 was a great year for me:
- I wrote and published a book which is selling well.
- I created a signature programme and received some great testimonials.
- My sales increased by 40%, my profits doubled.
- We had a lovely holiday in Wales, swimming in the sea and chilling out, plus weekends away and great days out.
- I turned 50 and had a a lovely day with family as well as a super fun zoom celebration.
Of course, 2021 was different to other years – but aren’t all years different?
Yet I know 2021 was a very difficult year for many – another year of lockdowns, people losing loved ones, others struggling with long covid, many having lost jobs or found business incredibly challenging.
So dare I celebrate amidst such struggle and suffering?
However, I also know that if I hadn’t been on the incredible transformation journey I’ve been on, and blessed by attending transformation workshops and having incredible mentors and peers, then I too would have struggled in 2021.
One of my favourite expressions is “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” ~ Max Planck.
I remember years ago, regularly wanting to curl up on the sofa and have the world stop. It was simply too difficult, too challenging. It seemed that no matter how much progress I made, I kept hitting brick walls – one step forward, two steps back.
Hitting my business income goal – a milestone I believed would shift everything – didn’t make any difference – the feeling that I was “never going to get there” was still ever present.
However what did shift my experience of life – from one of striving, pushing, working hard and constantly feeling not good enough, to one of joy, freedom, fun and adventure – was “changing the way I look at things”.
It was seeing how the dynamic of “not enough” was a constant theme in my life – that no matter how hard I worked, how much I strived, how many milestones I hit – there was always another rung to climb. “There” was constantly moving.
It didn’t matter what I accomplished, how successful I was – this feeling of “not enough” would always be there. I so resonated with Charity in The Greatest Showman when she asked her husband, “how much is enough?” It was a question I’d asked myself when I realised that I could always do more.
I started paying attention to all the different ways it played out – and practicing a process called “The Acceptance Process” which is in the first chapter of my book:
I did this for things that played out in business and personally.
Since then, so much has shifted and I’ve let go of numerous limiting patterns and sabotaging stories. And this Christmas I became aware of another playing out. A version of “not enough” that plays out whenever I relax. I spent Christmas and New Year doing absolutely nothing but read novels and watch TV (and I’m talking hours of reading for several days).
After a couple of days I started berating myself – “you need to do something useful”, “you need to stop”, “you should be doing something else”, “you’re wasting time”.
I didn’t stop but instead after finishing one novel, I started another. I felt guilty and remembered when I was 15 and studying for “O” Levels and how the need to revise was always present. I looked forward to the time when I had a job and didn’t have to do work at home. Starting a business working from home put paid to that desire!
As I reflected, I noticed how guilt and this constant feeling that “I should be doing something else” is prevalent everywhere. I’m more than ready to let go of that one; so I’ll be diving into the ‘Acceptance Process’ there!
That’s my weekend sorted. Of course, there’s 101 things I want to do on top of that!
How about you – what are you up to?
I hope it’s fun whatever you do.
PS: If you’d like to win a free place on my next Sacred Selling Foundations course starting January 31st you can do so here: