As we grow up we take on board the beliefs of those around us. Many things we believe to be true are actually lies and illusions. They then play out in business in a massive way and stop us from experiencing the success and fulfilment we crave.
There are five main ones I see which I believe are the root cause of most repeating patterns. See the myth for what it is, let it go, and the patterns drop away.
So what are these myths?
Myth 1: When ….. then
The all-encompassing, soul sucking, enjoyment-killing:
When ………. Then……….
- When ….my business is making more money ….. then …. I’ll hire a VA, coach, mentor
- When …. It’s Christmas….. then … I’ll relax
- When …. I’ve got a certain number of clients …. then …. I’ll put my prices up
- When … the online side of my business is up and running …. then …. we’ll travel
- When … I’ve cleared my debts …. then …..
It’s natural to desire growth and look to the future. We are cyclical beings and so there are certain things that naturally happen at some point in the future which we look forward to.
However, this is very different to living in a perpetual state of when …. then ….
A perpetual state of when…. then …. stops us from living in the present moment and experiencing joy today.
We are seduced by dreams of a better life whilst being frustrated in the now.
We believe our fulfilment and happiness is dependent on a specific goal or outcome.
Looking back, I can see that hitting 6 figures was a defining moment for me. I always believed more money would bring me happiness:
When … I had a 6 figure business… then … I’d be living my dream life …
It couldn’t have been further from the truth. I spent a fortune on coaching to get me to 6-figures, I bought new clothes, new experiences, trips for the family. My outgoings expanded alongside my income.
My business made a profit yet I had no cash to show for it.
And all the feelings of lack, of being a fraud were still playing out. Yet my motivation had gone – I’d hit my goal – this was it, I should be loving life now. I’d arrived at my “when”.
So why wasn’t I fulfilled?
Because “when” is a myth – a way to keep us striving for more, bigger and better. It’s a trap.
More is not what we crave – be we often only know this once we’ve experienced the truth of that. Or we’re exhausted and burn-out in our quest.
If you’d told me back in 2008 that hitting 6 figures wouldn’t make me happy, I wouldn’t have believed you. Of course it would! It would give me the money to do the things I longed to do. It would allow me to provide a better life for my family. I could send my kids to private school, we could go on luxury holidays, we could build an extension on our house. Hitting my goal was everything.
There was no way I’d have paid any attention to someone like me saying – that won’t make me happy. I’d have smiled sweetly and ignored them.
We see the myth of …when … then… when we’re ready to see it.
When we find ourselves grappling with the same patterns no matter how far we come.
If you’re in that place do sign up for a Sacred Selling Audit and we’ll bust through this myth once and for all.
Myth 2: There’s a Gap
It’s ironic that I’m outing “the gap” as a myth, after it played a pivotal role in my sales training for nearly a decade. “The gap” was the reason I stopped teaching sales for 4 years as it felt so out of alignment with what I knew to be true. Highlighting people’s pain in a sales conversation then promising them I could magic it away was something I could no longer do.
How could I get rid of something that didn’t exist in the first place?
It wasn’t until the birth of the Sacred Selling System did I find a way of teaching sales that honoured Truth, served people at the highest level and didn’t rely on the “gap” method of selling.
What do I mean by “the gap”? The gap is the chasm between where you are now and where you want to go. It’s closely aligned to when …. then …. but shows up in different ways.
You may have been taught “the gap” method of selling (you may have even learnt it from me) but not implemented it, or not got the results you wanted from it, or simply felt “icky” whenever you were in a sales conversation – resulting in you avoiding them completely.
It’s totally understandable because you are closely aligned with the Divine and Truth – you intuitively knew that this way of selling was “off”.
Now before we continue I must point out that the gap method of selling is GREAT when you have a training programme – or you’re teaching something concrete. It’s not that the method of selling is “wrong” – it’s BRILLIANT in certain circumstances.
However, there’s a way we need to adapt it when we sell transformation as I share in the following post:
How to Use the Gap Method to Sell with Integrity
Myth 3: There’s a “Missing Piece”
I will reveal how this myth plays out and stops you experiencing the success and fulfilment you crave in my next blog.
Stay tuned.
Much love,
Melina
