It’s that time of year where we turn our thoughts to 2020 to what we want to accomplish next year. And of course it’s a new decade which is even more exciting. And 2020 has such a lovely ring to it don’t you think?
It’s been several years since I’ve set any goals at the turn of the year – over the past few years I’ve preferred to see what life has in store for me and follow the magic.
And in truth I was also rebelling against what you’re supposed to do, I needed to throw out everything I’d learnt and come home to myself – to my own inner knowing and wisdom.
And in that process I’ve discovered that setting goals and intentions isn’t really my thing but having a focus is.
Now I could be splitting hairs and what I share today might be down to semantics but I’ve discovered that having a focus makes a big difference – I made huge strides forward with my finances when my focus was financial wellness.
During 2019 my focus was sustainability and abundance – I just LOVE the word abundance – such rich flowing undertones. My focus for 2020 is to honour the Divine Guidance that flows through me – however it shows up.
What are your desires for 2020?
What do you want to birth into the world?
And I’d like to give you a slightly different way of exploring this than the usual “set your intention and make a plan to get there”.
I believe our desires are very important – they are unique to us and they play a key role in our life journey. However I don’t believe that if our desire is strong enough and we are committed to having it that it will come to fruition.
My favourite quote of all time is this:
Often we’re so fixated on our desires looking a certain way that we cannot see that what we desire is actually right at our fingertips – and often it’s available to us right now.
Last year I realised that my desire was one of “happy families”. I had this romantic notion of us all getting along, enjoying doing the same things, spending lots of quality time together and having this “picture perfect” family life.
My reality was VERY different.
And as I started to explore this, I realised that what I actually wanted was for my family to be more like me – for them to want to do the same things I wanted to do. Of course their desires were very different to mine – so the picture I envisioned was actually impossible – unless I changed my family! And you can’t exactly swap your kids!
However joking aside I realised that the picture I had in my head was one of fiction – think Little Women, The Famous Five or the Waltons! My reality could never match because I was actually living in fantasy land.
And so I started to explore what was underneath my desire – what was I actually craving when I thought of “happy families”? I discovered I craved love and connection and being together. So I started to look at how I could cultivate these – without it having to look a certain way.
Of course I had to let go – to let go of the picture – I had to get better acquainted with my children – discover what they actually wanted.
I had to accept that my son suffered from acute social anxiety – and that the more I pushed the more withdrawn he became. The only solution was to totally step back to enable him to come forward.
I encouraged my daughter in what delighted her – I gave her space and stopped inventing things we could do together – and I stopped going on at her for how untidy her bedroom is! Amazingly she’s pretty good at keeping her bedroom tiday now (although it helped that I paid her to keep it tidy during the summer holidays).
I let my husband be and started really listening.
And I focussed on nourishing myself and doing the things I loved on my own or with friends.
And the more I let go of the pictures, the more I got what I craved. Indeed I have just had the most magical Christmas Day – nothing out of the ordinary, nothing different from previous years, but my experience was one of joy and delight – and an ease that I’d not experienced in previous years.
Ok, yes I did get stressed cooking Christmas dinner – but just for 20 minutes when I didn’t have enough pans!
It’s the same with all our desires – they are there right at our fingertips when we remove the picture in our head.
For example, let’s assume your desire is to earn more money in your business (I pick this because it’s such a common one).
Instead of solely focussing on the income goal – start exploring what the income will give you. Not what it will buy, but how it will make you feel.
Are you craving security, freedom or stability?
Do you want more money so you can hire help to free up some of your hours?
We’re often so focussed on the end result that we rarely ask ourselves what we’re actually craving with these desires.
And maybe there are many areas of our life that we could experience what we crave if we shifted things a little.
For example if you crave security, it’s highly unlikely that earning more money in your business will give you that. What tends to happen is that as our income grows so do our expenses – so our money patterns remain the same – we’re just dealing with bigger numbers. So more money won’t actually give us the security we crave.
However if you want security what WILL give you that is a pot of savings – for example 3 months of operating expenses. That way if you have a bad month you won’t worry because you know you have that pot to fall back on. It will transform EVERYTHING.
Then when you want to take a week off, you’ll be more inclined to do so because you won’t be worrying about the loss of revenue and how you’ll pay your expenses.
Of course you can still grow your business and focus on increasing your income – except now you will be coming from a place of joy and fun rather than desperation.
So what are your desires in 2020 and how much do you already have in place to experience them?
Do share in the comments below.