If you’ve been on any marketing training you will have heard the expression “it’s about them, not you”.

What that means is, it’s not about what you want to create and sell – it’s about what your clients want to buy – and by closely aligning what you’re offering with what your clients want, you’ll have a successful business.



If you’re in the transformation business I want to suggest that that’s not true at all – that actually it’s the complete opposite – it has nothing to do with them and EVERYTHING to do with you.

This is a post I’ve wanted to write for a long time – and I’ve held off.

On the surface it’s because I haven’t had a lot of time to create new posts with all my preparations for Christmas.

However in reality, lack of time is just a red herring, there is a deeper level at play.

The truth is that I’ve been scared to share this – scared about how it will be received – whether I will be able to present what I am trying to say in a way that is meaningful and won’t be misunderstood.

After all this is a widely held belief – my friends who I love dearly, whom I have the utmost respect for and who share such wonderful wisdom believe this to be true.

If I go against them – maybe they won’t love me anymore.  But of course I know that’s an old pattern that’s ready to be released – it no longer serves me.  I know my friends will love me regardless of what I write because I will write with discernment and understanding – and who knows they may even see something in themselves which they hadn’t seen before.

Now before we begin, let me point out that in business, we need clients –we need our business to be profitable.  So we need to be selling something that people want to buy – and present it in such a way that people get it.

With well-known things – like food, cake, haircuts, cars, clothes, etc – business owners don’t have to convince clients they need what they’re offering – people know they need it – it’s more a case of inviting clients to buy from them – rather than another supplier – which is where their Unique Selling Point comes in.

However when we’re in the business of transformation – it’s not so much about our clients choosing us over someone else – it’s more a question of them wanting our services in the first place!

ESPECIALLY if we’re in the somewhat nebulous business of helping people live a happier life – where it’s VERY common for us to struggle in describing what we do in a way that people get it and want to work with us.

Even though I was great at helping others gain clarity with this, I struggled when it came to my own business.  And every time I thought I’d “nailed it” I’d discover someone else was saying the exact same thing and it would be back to the drawing board.

And the reason we struggle so much isn’t because we’re “not very good at” or “don’t like” marketing and sales it’s because our underlying reason for being in business is different.

The real reason we’re in business is hidden – it’s hidden even from us – and until we see it we cannot transform it – which is why repeating patterns keep playing out.

So if we’re in the business of transformation we need to be aware of the two levels at play.


The surface level:

  • to make a difference in the world.
  • to be of service to others.
  • to give something back (usually the very thing that has totally transformed our life).


The deeper underlying level – (and the real reason we’re in business):

Our business is the vehicle which will enable us to heal and gain our freedom – not just financial freedom – but total freedom.

Our business isn’t really about our clients (although they benefit hugely from working with us) it’s about us.

And that means that where we are coming from in business is different.

We need to flip the levels round.  We have to see that first and foremost we’re here to heal and transform ourselves and our lives – and then guide others to do the same.

So EVERYTHING in business is about us – not our clients.

Our clients (or lack of them) are simply pointing to the areas which need to shift in ourselves.

So if people don’t “get” us or we’re not being heard – it’s because we’re not listening to ourselves – maybe we’re wanting to do one thing, but we ignore those desires because we think it won’t work or people won’t want it.

If we’re struggling to get clients, it could be due to any number of reasons – it might be something playing out at the surface level – that we don’t have a simple sales process in place.  Or there’s a problem with one part of our sales process – maybe we’re not getting enough enquiries – or we’re not converting those enquiries into paying clients.

Or (which is more likely) there is a something deeper going on – there’s an underlying pattern playing out:

– maybe we feel we don’t deserve success, maybe we have a “not wanted” or a “not enough” story, maybe we’re terrified of success.

Whatever is going on we have to look at it from the perspective of these two levels:


Level One – Business basics:

Our sales process – what are we actually doing to bring clients in – how are we generating leads, how are we converting those leads into paying clients

Level Two – The underlying story:

What are the patterns and limiting stories that are playing out creating the results we get in level one (this goes much deeper than mind-set and limiting beliefs)?

I’ll be sharing more about this and giving different examples of how this has played out in my own business in the coming weeks but if you’re struggling and sense there’s a deeper issue at play then give yourself a gift this Christmas and sign up for a complimentary Exploration Session so we can highlight what is really going on for you in your business.