It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post, connected with my email community or been active on Facebook.
Because I haven’t felt I had anything to share – and I didn’t want to share something (anything) because the rules say “you have to be consistent and visible”.
Initially I was concerned people would think badly of me but after a few weeks I stepped into trust that when I was inspired to write, it would be at the perfect time.
To fill you in, during the past 3 months, I’ve taken on a role as Senior Coach with Karen Skidmore – an awesome business mentor who I coached several years ago.
It’s going really well and I’ve been having fun teaching sales again – something I thought I’d turned my back on 4 years ago. I’d forgotten just how much wisdom and experience I have in this area.
But taking on this role left me with a question – do I work full time supporting other business mentors and close my own business, or do I do that part time and continue to grow my own coaching practice?
Of course if I wasn’t growing my own business, I wouldn’t need to blog or find clients.
Ah the dilemma! And one I’ve faced before during my entrepreneurial journey.
But a lot has changed over the years and this time, instead of agonising daily, I simply let what I now call “the veil of confusion” do its thing whilst I waited patiently for it to lift.
It was a far more graceful and peaceful experience than any I’d had previously.
If you’ve ever been in that space of indecision and not knowing, you’ll know how uncomfortable it can get.
You feel like you’re wasting time, not getting anywhere, procrastinating.
Constantly telling yourself to “pull your finger out and get on with it”.
You want out of it – and fast.
But in truth this space of “not knowing” is actually a vital part of evolution – both the evolution of our being and the evolution of our business.
In the past when I’ve changed direction but not known where I was headed I made big bold announcements – if you’ve been following my journey you’ll know all about them 🙂
And although we live in a world that wants instant results and fast action, evolution is a slow process. It takes time because it’s happening at a soul level.
It looks a bit like this:
Our ego wants instant transformation; but our soul delights in all the ups and downs of the evolutionary process.
Our ego wants to go, go, go – results now; our soul delights in taking it slow, savouring every minute whilst sitting in awe of every tiny detail.
And as these two go head to head in battle it can get a little choppy.
Of course the battle is also part of the evolutionary process.
I now feel pretty grounded in the direction my business is moving in – there’s a level of clarity and solidity that has much more depth than I’ve felt previously. It’s not a new feeling but I am experiencing it very differently – and therefore the actions I am taking are different. More grounded, less knee jerky.
I also have an awareness of my own evolutionary process that I hadn’t fully seen before. For example, I know that whenever I share something with the world – in an email, in a blog, on Facebook – after I’ve shared it I immediately want to run away, hide, retreat.
I used to think that if I was in alignment with my soul’s calling then I would be proud of everything I put out into the world – that the feeling I had of wanting to hit delete or run away and hide wouldn’t be there.
But I now know that’s a myth.
The desire to run away is an indication that I’m on track, that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. I need to embrace it with an open heart as it’s part of my own evolutionary process. Once I embrace it, it will no longer have a hold on me and so will dissipate.
Moving through our feelings is a vital part of the evolutionary process and is best done with compassion and curiosity.
In my next blog I will share exactly what I’m doing with my business – I think you’ll like what I’ve been cooking up.