How much time do we really have?

This morning I awoke as I do on many occasions with tons of ideas I wanted to share with you.

They still tend to start out as rather a mish-mash instead of one coherent message but that’s ok – the clarity generally comes later.

And the thing I want to share with you today is this false belief that we have all the time in the world to do the things we want to do.

Over the past few months I have regularly been asking myself the question “what would I be doing if I had 6 months to live”.

Of course it’s almost impossible to answer that question because unless we’re actually faced with that situation we don’t know how we would feel – all we can do is imagine what it would be like.

And I know that many people are indeed faced with this very situation and to them I send love and blessings.

For me I use it as a reality check because the truth is we don’t know what will happen tomorrow – our lives can be turned upside down in an instant.

As I read in a novel recently “we’re not guaranteed a tomorrow”.

14 years ago my life was turned upside down.

I was pregnant with my first child and very much looking forward to spending time with my mom – taking the baby on walks, visiting beautiful gardens, having afternoon tea. I had it all planned out in my mind.

It never occurred to me that it might not happen.

Life had other plans.

My Mom collapsed from a massive aneurysm on her way home from visiting me in hospital just a few days after my son was born. She never recovered and died at the age of 56.

Now I no longer take tomorrow for granted – or believe I have all the time in the world to do what I want to do.

And it’s why I regularly stop and reflect and ask myself “if this was my last week on earth would I be doing this?” (Whatever “this” happens to be in the moment).

Most of the time the answer is yes.

Would I be writing to you today, sharing this message watching the wind and rain outside?

Yes.

Of course if it was my very last day on earth I would probably spend it with my family – doing something crazy and wacky that I’ve never done before.

But we never know when our last day on earth is going to be.

And we live like we have forever –“it’s ok if I don’t do x now, I can do it next week, or next month”.

When I was younger I spent a lot of time travelling (as much as I possibly could) and I remember thinking that if didn’t get to visit a particular town or attraction I wanted to visit – I would think “it’s ok, I’ll come back in the future”.

Of course I’ve never been back (and truth be told I cannot even remember the exact places I promised myself I would go back to).

Now if I want to go somewhere – I make sure I go whilst I’m in the area, knowing that if I don’t do it then, chances are I never will.

Many people think it’s morbid to think of our own immortality – believing that if you think about it, it could make it real.

But the truth is if you live as if there was no tomorrow – you really live.

You take advantage of each and every day.

You live life to the full.

You enjoy every moment – whether it’s doing something crazy like swimming Loch Ness, or something simple like enjoying each mouthful of food, or the smell of a rose.

If I had known my mom was going to die – would I have waited until it was too late to spend time with her? Of course not.

And we never know what life has in store for us!

Ever!

No matter how much we try to control the world around us – or create our lives exactly how we want – anything could happen – at any moment.

And of course there’s the other side – that we have years ahead of us.

Earlier this year I met an old lady walking down my lane – she had already walked a mile and a half from town and had the same distance to go before she reached her daughter’s house. She told me she did that journey quite regularly. It blew me away – she was 88 – exactly twice my age – and still fit and active. I remembered thinking “wow – I could have the same time I’ve already lived ahead of me. Wow – that’s a lot of living”.

And the great thing is we don’t have to choose between the two extremes – we can live BOTH of them.

We can live with our eyes open to the fact that we could die tomorrow – AND live assuming we have the best part of our lives ahead of us -and boy we can accomplish so much in 40 years (or 50, or 30, or 20, or 10 or even 5).

By choosing both – you really live.