I’m sat here, at my desk doing my usual (frustrating) thing of “struggling to write to you” (it’s getting very tedious!)
Having a gazillion (ok half a dozen) topics of what I could write about that you’d probably find helpful/interesting/inspiring.
- Share some insights from the retreat I ran last month
- Tell you about the next one which will be in January (very exciting!)
- Share some feedback I received from my last communication about Marianne Williamson running for President of the United States
- Let you know I’ve just signed up for a blogging challenge
- Tell you about the pickled onions and chutney I’ve been making for Christmas gifts (it ties into our sabotaging patterns!)
- Share some insights I’ve been blessed to discover as a result of daily journaling
- Talk about how to master consistency – and banish our “not good enough” story for good!
- Start a discussion on “how much is enough”
As you can see I’m not short on something to write about!
So why the struggle?
Every time I sit down to write – instead of simply writing, I’m constantly trying to choose the “right” topic – the most helpful one, the most meaningful one, the most insightful one.
Or I’m attempting to write that one blogpost in a way that will have you message me saying “wow Melina, that’s amazing! How can I work with you?”
Even though I know:
There’s no such thing as the “right” topic – there are simply topics I can write about
There is no “one” blogpost that will transform everything
But despite “knowing” the above – my experience is telling a different story.
Some people will say we can never break free of our patterns.
But I’m not buying into that.
After all just because they haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it’s not possible.
Everyone thought running a mile in under four minutes was impossible until Roger Bannister did it!
And I’m committed to breaking free of ALL of my patterns – even the pesky lingering ones – and supporting you to do the same!
And there’s a process to doing so.
To break free first of all we have to witness them.
So I witness myself writing and feeling great and in flow as I type.
I then witness myself reading through what I’ve written and thinking “it’s rubbish”, “no-one’s interested in that – they won’t read past the first line”.
I witness myself editing my post.
Then re-reading it.
“It’s still rubbish” so I edit again.
Before I know it the day’s gone by and all I’ve done is write one blog post.
And then frustration sets in “Melina, you can’t do this you don’t have time!”
And having signed up to a 30 day blogging challenge I don’t have the luxury of spending all day writing and editing one blog post!
I’m also pretty sure that my edited posts are no better than the ones that flow and are effortless to write(and take about an hour start to finish).
It’s time for me to let go of my perfectionist streak!
To move into flow with my writing in the same way I have done with everything else in my life. To ignore that little voice that says “that’s rubbish” – heck it’s a blog post – not an entry for the Pulitzer Prize!
Trusting that each time I hit publish (and then share it) my “not good enough” pattern dissolves a little more.
Until one day I’ll be writing and suddenly I’ll realise that I hardly have to edit my posts any more.
Or I’ll notice I’m sharing my writing without the horrible fear of being judged for saying something “wrong”. I’ll welcome dissenting views and will no longer worry about offending or upsetting someone because I know that for every one person I upset there are a dozen people who find my words supportive and helpful.
And until that time I’ll notice the pattern and publish my blogs – warts and all (even when I really don’t want to!)